COURT JESTERINGS

With h brown

Photo(s) by Luke Thomas

Court Jester x-rays Jew's win

By h. brown

November 13, 2006

"Ed Jew came from out of nowhere!"

(uninformed source on 'the Wall')

Hey, usually 'Westside Progressive' knows what the hell he or she is talking about and that made this huge error a surprise. ... Not that I could have done any better. I've met Ed lots around town and didn't really take him very seriously. Oh, I was surprised when he showed up with Doug Comstock (more conservative than me, but a straight shooter) at both Josh Wolf benefits. Someone had told me that Jew's last campaign for supe was run by Jim Stearns, so he had to have some kind of clout. Naturally, I went to Eileen Left to find out the real skinny.

Supervisor elect Ed Jew, Richard Knee and Doug Comstock attend
a benefit fundraiser for jailed journalist Josh Wolf on September 22, 2006.

Eileen: "Jesus Christ!! 'Out of nowhere!?!' That 'Westside' guy, that's Steven Hill, right?"

Jester: (grimaces) "You're not supposed to 'out' them. I heard it was Hill but I don't know."

Eileen: (shaking head in disgust as she chooses amongst a card of diamond earrings that must be worth at least 2 million - we're in her Russian Hill penthouse where she's dressing for a night at the ballet with an ex-mayor while I'm preparing to head down to the Tenderloin to watch The Dixie Hummingbirds at Great American)

"I know most of those idiots. (glances over at him) But, you wanted to know about Ed Jew.
Did you know that his dad and uncle are cab drivers? His uncle is named Ed too and lots of people think he's the new supervisor."

Jester: "Just tell me how he managed to beat Dudum, Mak and Chan."

Eileen: (trying on simple teardrop earrings of at least a carat each)

"Newsom's people tried to clear the field for Doug Chan last winter. The told Jew that they'd support him for school board but that was bogus. Ed went to his brain trust and they talked him out of if. So, they put Bayard Fong in that slot (he's a contracts administrator for the Human Rights Commission) and he got creamed"

Jester: "Who's Jew's brain trust?"

Eileen: "Well, Doug Comstock for one. Then there's Barbara Meskunas and Bruce Cutherbertson. They knew that the Left dominates school board elections and that it was highly unlikely that Bruce Brugman and Robert Haaland and the D triple-C or the United Educators were going to line up behind the owner of the Canton Flower Shop on Waverly Place. Those people all hated his neighborhood schools agenda. But Ed's people saw right through it and talked him into running for supe again and playing to his more conservative roots to present an alternative to Mak and Chan."

Ed Jew receives recognition from Mayor Gavin Newsom.

Jester: "You mean, the fact that he was Vice Chair of the Republican Party?"

Eileen: "That's no real drawback in the Sunset. Tony Hall's a Republican without the paperwork. Lots would say that Quentin Kopp is too. Elsbernd, Ma ... c'mon? Stearns had run Jew's 2002 supe campaign where he finished 3rd and CSFN people knew he'd run Mak to the left and he did. He got Brugman and the D triple-C and Haaland and Barnes and the Tenants Union."

Jester: "I didn't even know Stearns ran Jew's campaign."

Eileen: "Amongst about a million other things around here."

Jester: "So, how'd Ed beat all of them including Newsom's candidate Doug Chan?"

Eileen: "Well, to begin with, Chan doesn't even speak Chinese. Jew is loved by the Chinese press and he nurtures the relationship. Everything he's done (You know he was the guy who put the PUC rate freeze on the ballot, right?) ... all he's done has been covered in depth by Sing Tao and Ming Pao and the World Journal. Luke's photographer (Adam Aufdencamp) got a shot of the Ming Pao photographer photographing Jew and Daly congratulating each other in front of the Department of Elections. (pauses momentarily) You should get a copy of that photo and run it with Adam's photo. Kind of an M.C. Esher thing."

District 4 Supervisor-elect Ed Jew is congratulated by Supervisor re-elect Chris Daly outside the Department of Elections.
Photo by Adam Aufdencamp

Jester: "So, he's big with the Chinese press."

Eileen: "Huge. He's advertised on KTSF Channel 26 for 10 years; first on Hong Kong Newshour and later on Cantonese news program. They do the only live 1-hour news broadcast in North America."

Jester: (taking notes) "Very impressive."

Eileen: "The Asian Law Caucus poll shows he was the top vote getter in the Chinese community and Meskunas wrote copy for him criticizing City Hall on homelessness and quality of life crimes.

They hit the Board for crippling small businesses with new regulations like the sick pay measure. They brought back his neighborhood schools proposal and pushed for no more fee increases. Basic conservative politics. And, he used IRV."

Jester: "The others didn't?"

Eileen: (shakes head) "That's standard Jim Stearns. You'll notice the Guardian and Tenants Union didn't give ranked choices either. It was stupid and it killed them in the 4 rounds of IRV counting. (she takes a black velvet shawl from the bed, wraps it around her shoulders and turns slowly both ways to view herself in one of the several full length mirrors mounted around the room) The only Left Wing votes in 4 are in a few beach precincts. Ed's people pretty much ignored them. They did a few spots with weathered elderly white people and concentrated on his conservative message with them. He hammered the absentee vote and won that. (looks at him and nods) Put simply, Jew's people knew District 4 better than Stearns folks did and that's why Ed Jew's gonna be supervisor in January. (motions him toward the door) Let me give you one last thought."

Jester: "I'm all ears."

Eileen: "Remember all the legislation Tony Hall and Gonzalez passed? A ton of it. (they enter the elevator in the foyer of her suite) There's no such alliance on the Board since Hall and and Gonzalez left. Jew should form one on specific legislation with Daly. It wouldn't stop him from pushing his own issues. The Gonzo alliance certainly didn't stop Tony Hall from trying to get anti-war demonstrators to pay for the cops at demonstrations or pushing to kill rent control.

These new 'moderates' are too adversarial. (the elevator has rocketed to the lobby where
the doorman manages to both admire Eileen and cast a disapproving look at Jester at the
same time). Jew's a nice guy and he could work with Daly and Mirkarimi and the other
lefties on police reform and other issues. (there's a limo waiting for Eileen and the
driver opens the door and lightly touches the tip of his cap at Jester. Eileen smooothly enters the limo, gives a light peck on the cheek to the ex-mayor who is waiting
and leans past Eileen for a comment).

Ex mayor: "Hey h., f**k you very much."

Jester: (grins) "F**k you very much too, Mr. Mayor." (the door closes and they drive away)

h. brown is a 62 year-old keeper of sfbulldog.com, an eclectic site featuring a half dozen City Hall denizens. h is a former sailor, firefighter, teacher, nightclub owner, and a hard-living satirical muckraker. Email h at h@ludd.net.

####

Editor's Note: Views expressed by columnists published on FogCityJournal.com are not necessarily the views or beliefs of Fog City Journal. Fog City Journal supports free speech in all its varied forms and provides a forum for a complete spectrum of viewpoints.