The CrackBerry Chronicles

With Elaine Santore

Photo(s) by Luke Thomas

By Elaine Santore

June 22, 2007

CrackBerry TV

Thanks to h. Brown and Luke Thomas, I made an appearance on Arthur Bruzzone's San Francisco /unscripted show on Tuesday. After deliberating about wardrobe for about two weeks, I took my mother's advice to wear a blazer. "It's more professional," she said, perhaps referring to my typical uniform of miniskirts, leggings, and sneakers. And, well, I always listen to Mom when it comes to interview outfits.

Bruzzone and I talked about gossip, politics, and local celebrity culture.

Elaine Santore: "I bought this headband for $8. Do you love it, or do you love it?"

The show airs locally and regionally next week. I won't reveal any more of the interview, only that Big Brother managed to sneak his way into it (story of my life.) I think my segment will appear before Hank Plante (aka "Hanky Planky") of KPIX.

Big thanks to Art Bruzzone for inviting me on the program.

Ed Jew Really Can't Get A Break

The saga of embattled District 4 Supervisor Ed Jew continues, and Tuesday's Board of Supervisors meeting was preceded by another media circus. Members of the mainstream media camped out in front of Sup. Jew's office, anxiously awaiting his entrance into the meeting.

Jew's aide Barbara Meskunas commented, "What are they going to do, follow him every time he goes to the bathroom?"

Thankfully, Jew was escorted into the BOS meeting by our new BFF, Sergeant Erdman. Erdman is proving to be an even bigger attention whore than I am, thrusting his hulking frame in front of every camera in the City. Again: Bitch, please!

Supervisor Ed Jew being escorted by Sergeant Erdman.
Sorry, Serg, there's only room for one diva in this town.

Erdman was too busy giving everyone his best side instead of protecting Jew from an incoming camera microphone. Watch out, Ed!

Here's the moment a cameraman's camera made contact with Jew's head.

Ouch!

The Serg. didn't even try to help. What do we pay him for, anyway?

Sup. Jew would be better off under the protection of Mayor Gavin Newsom's security guard, Franco. But, you know, Ed's kind of on a budget these days.

Gavin Newsom Packin' Heat?

On Monday, Mayor Gavin Newsom, New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, and District Attorney Kamala Harris combined to hold a press conference about efforts to remove illegal guns from the streets.

District Attorney Kamala "I don't shake hands with lowly gossip columnists" Harris.
FYI, Harris will NOT be getting a fashion endorsement from Fog City Journal this November, no matter how good she looks.

The gun issue discussion prompted Fog City Journal's Luke Thomas to ask Newsom about his stance on the 2nd Amendment. Newsom's answer was interesting, to say the least.

Listening to Newsom grapple with non-rehearsed questions has become my new favorite thing to do, and confirms my belief that Big G needs to find himself a good stand-in at times like these. The man can't think on his feet. I'm not saying I'm the Mistress of Oratory or anything (I'm not even a poor man's Kelly Ripa), but this is ridic.

In light of Newsom's push to eradicate illegal guns, Thomas asked the following question:

Thomas: "Mr. Mayor, what is your position on the 2nd Amendement?"

Newsom: "I support the 2nd Amendment and I support the right to bear arms. At the same time I support pragmatic common sense gun regulation and that's certainly what we're arguing for here. But, again, mostly we're focused on, as Mayor Bloomberg said, illegal guns. The dominant challenge in the inner city of America is the distribution of illegal guns."

That sounds coherent enough.

"What we're talking about is having the federal government help local law enforcement with trace evidence that would help us determine where these guns came from because, again, they were presumably legally purchased, initially, and then illegally transferred subsequently and we need to track down that information in order to track down the root causes of illegal guns in this country."

Again, the question is about legal guns.

"And there's no excuse. The bottom line here is it's pure politics, unadulterated, pure politics. The NRA, working aggressively to make this a litmus test for legislators from both parties - and if they support the changes to this amendment - they will be attacked by the NRA."

Hmmm... so you support the 2nd Amendment, but not the NRA?

"So Democrats in some of these swing districts are as concerned as Republicans that have had long-standing support from the NRA and that again, the bottom line. And so, for us, it's much easier out here on the West Coast, particularly in urban cities, to ask our representatives and elected officials to step forward."

Uh-huh...

So, then, Thomas fires off his follow-up question...

Thomas: "What does a well-regulated militia mean to you?"

Newsom: (laughs) "…I'll leave that to somebody else's memoirs. I'm not gonna answer anything more specific to this, but I appreciate… Are you writing a book for the NRA? What's going on with you? I haven't really thought about that, frankly, yeah."

New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, Mayor Gavin Newsom
and District Attorney Kamala Harris.

Frankly, I think he's full of it.

CrackBerry Blind Items

Which Media Trifecta Of Irrelevance has contributed to the decline of public discourse in the City, and become a shill for a sinking ship and unapologetic Newsom propoganda machine?

I would tell you the answer, but the Trifecta is run by a ruthless gang of average-looking bitches (male and female) and an army of anonymous trolls that want to make life miserable for everyone else.

Good luck with that, kids.

Which union high-profiler now refers to Supervisors as "clowns," "morons" and "boobs?"

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